Dating Apps, Self-Worth & Communication Tips

Happy Hump Day.

Speaking of humping… I can’t help myself…

I am back at the mic with my favorite bestie and newly minted official dating coach for men, Chris Gillis talking all things dating, love and sex.

I am letting Chris drive the episodes in this incarnation of our relationship. At first, relinquishing control of the mic was terrifying, but now I love sitting back and letting him do his thing. It also means I get to do a lot more talking lol, and he is honestly a great host and interviewer.

So…here we gooooo….

In this amazing episode, we decided to dive into modern dating and relationship dynamics' complex and often humorous realities. I promise if you listen, you will laugh. One particularly interesting topic was our discussion of why women show up closed off AF, and don’t even realize it (is that you?!) Now that Chris is coaching men, our conversations are juicier than ever! Plus, our bants (banter) are epic and we laugh a lot.

Check it out and let me know what you think!

---

My Main Takeaways:

1. Communication is a Superpower: Clear expectations prevent resentment and foster appreciation. I just spoke with a former client who is now crushing it, dating amazing men and loving the process. She’s even having fun. She said that what has changed is her communication. This is a game changer so listen and take notes.

2. Non-Negotiables Are Essential: Knowing your values creates stronger, more balanced relationships. If you don’t know what you want, and you are not dating with a very clear intention, things get icky.

3. Self-Worth Drives Connection: Confidence in one’s value encourages healthier dynamics, and if you are not rock solid confident then rejection huuuurts.

---

Main Topics with Timestamps:

1. Passive Aggression and Resentment in Relationships (18:05)
   Clear communication about roles and expectations prevents the build-up of silent frustrations. Acknowledging effort, whether in taking out the trash or showing affection, builds goodwill and reduces scorekeeping.

   • Quote: "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."

   • Explanation: Without clear boundaries, partners unknowingly set themselves up for conflict. Expressing gratitude and proactively defining roles strengthens mutual respect.

2. Non-Negotiables and Relationship Dynamics (31:42)
   Establishing core values early in a relationship creates a foundation for trust and growth. Chris emphasized the importance of choosing a partner who shares your commitment to personal development.

   • Quote: "The guy I want to be with values learning and growing for himself."

   • Explanation: Prioritising growth-oriented partners cultivates mutual support and ensures both individuals thrive, reducing the likelihood of stagnation.

3. The Role of Self-Worth in Online and Offline Dating (47:19)
   The Gini coefficient analogy reveals how perceptions of inequality manifest in dating apps. Confidence in self-worth and uniqueness cuts through the noise of competition.

   • Quote: "We teach others how to value us by how we value ourselves."

   • Explanation: Embracing self-worth reshapes interactions, fostering authentic and fulfilling connections in the face of modern dating challenges.

---

Notable Mantra’s You Can Post On Your Mirror!

"Believing your partner can is the first step to true collaboration."

“Generosity in spirit keeps a relationship thriving, even in the face of challenges."

"Resentment comes from unspoken expectations—communication is the cure."